Marla the Blogger

I wouldn't label myself as a "control freak" but let's just say I have a tendency to want to be in charge of things. Like being able to control, well, my whole life. But let's face it, that's not realistic, nor particularly good for my well-being. So I try to keep my control impulses in check (my husband is usually more than willing to give me a gentle reminder as well) but every once in awhile something happens where I lose control and it turns out for the best. Case in point: potty training.

My son turned 3 a few weeks ago and I have been trying (unsuccessfully) off and on to potty train him. I bought a little potty for him before he was even two, so you can imagine how long I've been thinking about it. I tried different approaches and tricks, hands-on, more hands-off, rewards, peer pressure, you name it. He just wasn't interested. And everyone I know who has older kids (especially boys) kept telling me, "he'll do it when he's ready." I knew they were right, but I still kept trying occasionally and wondering what I was doing wrong. Maybe I should hide the diapers. Maybe let him run around all weekend without any pants on. I bought pull-ups and treats and rewards and nothing worked. Then, I got busy with work and mostly stopped trying at all.

And then it happened. One random morning he announces out of the blue he wants to wear big boy underwear to school. Just like that. Of course, at first I tried to control the situation. I actually tried to talk him out of it. I mean, he never lasted more than a few hours at home in underwear, if that, and he had never worn them anywhere but at home. We hadn't even tried to get him to use the potty at all in the last few weeks. What if he had an accident on the long drive to school? But he was insistent so I stopped trying to control the situation and just went with it. And guess what. He did awesome. He had two minor accidents at school that first day, but he was fine in the car and the rest of the day.

And then the very next night he demanded that he wear his underwear to bed instead of a diaper. At first I tried to take control again. I didn't think he was ready yet. Two days of (mostly) using the potty and then sleeping all night without a diaper? I thought it was a bad idea. But again, he was insistent so I thought, "what's the worst that could happen?" He'll wet the bed and I'll have to get up in the middle of the night to change him and the sheets? I'm sure they'll be plenty of those nights in my future, might as well start them now. He woke up once at midnight and I took him to the bathroom to potty and then he went back to bed and slept until I woke him up at 6:45 the next morning. And he was completely dry.

Now, I'm not foolish enough to think we're done and he'll never have an accident. I'm sure we still have some tough days in front of us. But several days later he's still doing a great job and well on his way. And all my wondering and worrying and trying to control everything didn't make it happen. Really, in the end, he did it himself. When he was ready. Just like everyone told me he would. And all I had to do was give up control over something I never really had control over in the first place.