Marla the Blogger

My husband and I are waiting. He applied for a grant and we'll find out in July whether he got it or not. It's a simple yes or no, but the implications of what the answer is are big. It will impact his job and, probably, where we're going to be living in the next year or so. One answer could mean us staying here for the near future and possibly moving to a different part of town with a better school district. The other answer could mean he'll have to look for a new job, which could also mean having to relocate. Either way, we can't really do anything until we hear what the answer is.

Waiting like this isn't easy for me. First of all, I'm not a particularly patient person. It's one of my faults that I do try to work on, but finding patience doesn't come easy for me. Secondly, I'm a planner. I want to be able to plan things out in advance so I can start tackling the necessary steps as soon as possible. I feel like I can handle most things when they come my way as long as I know what I'm dealing with. It's the uncertainty that drives me crazy.

So, how am I dealing with this? Well, it's not easy. Obviously since we don't know yet what the answer will be, I can't do any planning. So, as cliche as it sounds, I'm trying to just take one day at a time and focus on what's right in front of me than what is off in the future. And I'm trying to remind myself because I'm such a good planner, once we do know what the answer will be, I'll be able to switch into planning mode and get going on what we need to do next. It's not easy waiting, but I'm doing my best and reminding myself that the wait will be over before we know it. 

We just got back from a great vacation with family. In the past, I've often wondered how "relaxing" vacations can really be, with all the preparation you have to do before you leave and all the work that awaits you when you return. This time, though, I was determined that I wasn't going to undo all the positive benefits of taking a vacation by getting stressed out about getting ready for it or getting back from it. And I was successful! Well, mostly at least. There were a few slight moments of stress, but in general it was better than usual and made the transition back to home and our regular schedule easier.

First, I started packing days in advance. Probably not as many days as I should have, but definitely better than doing it all the night before (or morning of) our departure, as I'm known to do. I still unfortunately forgot to pack a few things, but we left pretty much on time with the majority of what we needed.

Second, I started preparing to leave from work earlier than usual. I started transitioning work over to other members of my team a few days in advance, so they had time to ask me questions while I was still there. And I took them up on their offers to help with anything I needed to get done before I left, so I wasn't frantically trying to wrap everything up the night before we left.

Also, we got back home on schedule so we had a full day at home before we had to go back to work and school. It meant leaving a day earlier than the rest of our family, and driving 12 hours straight, but it was worth it. It gave us time to unpack, do laundry, get groceries, etc. before we had to jump back into our normal routine the next day. And it gave our son a day to play at home and decompress, which he definitely needed after such a long car trip.

Most importantly, I enjoyed myself and didn't sweat the small stuff while on our trip. Yes, we forgot a few critical items (like my son's favorite blankie) but we were able to get by. And I didn't spend a minute of my vacation thinking about everything I needed to do when we got home and I got back to work. I just enjoyed the time with my family and away from our day-to-day routine. I can't wait for our next trip!

Every month I read the new articles and advice on the Start Making Choices site. This month there is an article on "How to Make Positive Changes in Your Life" and it had one piece of advice that really struck me. It outlines how to change your sleep schedule and the advice is so simple, but makes so much sense: don't change your schedule all at once. Move it in 5 minute increments until you get it where you want it to be. Why didn't I think of that before?

I feel like I've been complaining about not getting enough sleep since, well, my son was born almost 4 years ago. And every article I've read on getting a better night's sleep seems to focus on how to fall asleep faster or more easily. Trust me, falling asleep isn't a problem for me. I'm out when my head hits the pillow. My problem is getting to bed early enough to get the right amount of sleep. I feel like whatever I've tried, it just hasn't worked.

But now I realize that part of my problem may be that I was trying to make too big of a change too fast. I've been trying to move up my bedtime by 30-45 minutes without success. It never occurred to me to try to change it gradually, over time. Going to bed 5 minutes earlier seems completely doable to me. And if I can do that tonight and maybe tomorrow night, then I can surely shave off 5 minutes more.

I think often in life when making a change, my tendency is to go all in, all at once. Making sweeping changes all at once can be intimidating and hard. Taking small steps in a new direction and celebrating little successes along the way seems like a better way to go. I'm going to start using this approach in my moving my bedtime back, as well as other areas in my life.