Marla the Blogger

I'm looking forward to the time change this weekend. Even though it always takes at least a week for my family to readjust to the change, I love getting off work and still having daylight to enjoy. And now that the weather is getting warmer, I plan to spend more time outside enjoying it. Of course, spending more time outside having fun means I have less time for other things. So, as we spring forward, I'm looking for ways to save a few minutes here and there. Here are a few new things I'm going to try to free up some of my time:

• Lay out 5 days worth of clothes on Sunday night. I'm going to do this for myself as well as my son, so I spend less time during the week digging through drawers and laundry baskets in the morning looking for something for me (or him) to wear. Plus it will help me make sure I get laundry done on the weekend so we have enough clean clothes for the week.
• Stop spending time on my hair. I haven't blown dry my hair in years, so I don't spend much time "styling" it. However, due to my own laziness, my hair has gotten very, very long. So it takes me longer to wash, towel dry, brush it, etc. And I keep finding long hair all over the house (wrapped around the vacuum bar, tangled in the dryer, etc.). Time to get a shorter, more manageable cut that I can spend even less time on.
• Use text messages/email more. Don't get me wrong: I do like talking to my friends and family on the phone. But sometimes what should be a quick conversation to make plans or iron out logistics turns into an hour long gab-fest. I've been emailing and texting my sister to coordinate an upcoming visit with her. At first I felt bad about not calling, but it's saved me a ton of time and we will have more than enough time to talk when I see her in person in a few weeks.

This month I saw that Start Making Choices has an article called "How to Be Nice". It has some good suggestions in it and I was reminded of some things I try to do (but sometimes forget) and read some new ideas I hadn't considered before. I'm always looking for ways to be nice. Not because it's difficult or anything, but I think sometimes I get so busy and wrapped up in my own head that I don't always take the opportunity to show a little extra kindness to others.

In addition to the excellent list of ways to be nice in the article, here are a few others that I try to incorporate whenever I can:

• Say "please", "thank you", "you're welcome" and "pardon me" liberally. It might seem like an obvious way to be nice, but I notice that frequently people forget to be polite and I think it makes a positive difference when you remember.
• Loan books, music and movies out without strings attached. When a friend mentions a movie I have that they've been wanting to see or shows interest in a book I've read, I load it to them, even if they haven't asked. And I don't hound them to return it. If I get it back great; if they pass it onto someone else to enjoy, that's fine, too.
• Extend a last-minute invitation. It seems like it sometimes takes forever to make plans to get together with friends. But often we find ourselves with a free evening or decide spur of the moment to go to the zoo or something. Recently I've been calling friends last minute to see if they'd like to come over for dinner that night or go on an outing with us later in the day. Of course people can't always join us with that late notice, but frequently they can and are happy to be invited. If you have a free evening and are just hanging out at home, odds are one of your friends is doing the same and might enjoy your company.

A common phrase I've heard over and over referring to raising children is that you should "pick your battles". When it comes to dealing with my son, I've been pretty good about doing that. My husband and I try to focus on what is really important in helping him be a healthy, happy child and letting the small stuff go. I've realized recently that I need to apply that philosophy more to other areas of my life as well. Here are some other areas of my life where I'm trying to do better about picking my battles:

• Work - I've mentioned before that my work situation over the past year or so has been less than ideal. The reality is, though, that I'm going to be there for awhile, so I've come to terms with it. And I'm trying to put my time and energy where I can be most efficient and make the most positive impact on the business, and not worry about the rest so much.
• Home - I am finally ready to admit defeat in the war of keeping a clean, organized house. I've tried bringing in outside help, I've tried devoting an entire day to organizing problem areas, but in the end, it still looks like a bunch of college students live in my house. I'm not willing to sacrifice the time and money it would take to truly keep my house clean, so I'm focusing instead on keeping key areas clean (kitchen, bathroom, etc.) and letting the dust and clutter rule the rest of the house.
• Myself - Without a doubt, I am my own worst critic. I expect a lot out of myself, well more than I expect out of others, and can be hard on myself if I think I'm not doing my best. Instead, I'm going to focus on doing my best on the parts of my life that are the most important to me (family, friends and happiness) and allow myself to be mediocre in other areas.
  

It's not easy to accept the fact that your life will always be somewhat flawed and imperfect. I think most of us have a natural tendency to strive to be the best we can be, in every and all areas of life. But really, that's exhausting and not realistic. For me, it's better to surrender to the idea that my life will always be messy and flawed in some ways and still find happiness within it.