Dr. Rippe's Blog

As I write this on October 31, I'm thinking of all the families that will be enjoying time together today and this evening. This seems a good opportunity to think about how important connecting to other people is to health and well-being.

Numerous studies have shown that people who feel connected with other human beings and who are members of a community improve both their health and likelihood of longer life compared to people who feel socially isolated.  For example, in one study conducted by Dr. Redford Williams at Duke University, 1400 men and women who were diagnosed by coronary catheterization with at least one significant narrowing in a coronary artery (such narrowings contribute to chest pain and may lead to heart attacks) were followed for five years.  At the end of that time, participants who were not married or did not have at least one close confidant were three times as likely to have died as those who were married or had a confidant or both. Numerous other studies have shown similar findings.

You might think that with all the social networking sites on the Web and various "virtual" communities, not to mention email and iPhones, that people would be more likely to establish connections today than in pre-Internet and pre-cellphone days. Sadly, the opposite has happened. In 1985, the average American had three people in whom they could confide matters important to them. By 2004, the average number of close confidants had dropped to two, and one in four people had no close confidants. Robert Putnam documents this disturbing trend toward soial isolation in his book Bowling Alone.

Taking time to connect with your family and to reach out to others in the community can literally be life giving--to you and to those with whom you connect. The options for involvement are numerous. In these tough economic times, for instance, all kinds of community helping agencies need volunteers. Other options range from involvement in faith communities and activities to sports and hobby groups. The important thing is to reach out to people and opportunities that are meaningful to you.

If the country's financial crisis has increased your stress, then your children are feeling the stress, too.  Maybe you are having to work longer hours or are worried about job stability. Maybe the impact on retirement or college savings has you concerned. Maybe the family budget has been hit hard with rising food costs or housing concerns. If these kinds of concerns are affecting you, then your children know it at some level. Children also tend to worry that troubles might be their fault and may worry silently. Making sure that your children are coping okay with these worries may help you cope, too.

• Talk to you children about the economic crisis and how it affects your family. Younger children may simply need to be assured.  Informing older children helps make them part of the team to find family solutions.
• Tell your children that you love them and will take care of them no matter what. That assurance can be so important.
• Strategize with your children on ways they can help the family budget. Maybe you think those would be too minor to help, but you may be surprised at how helpful to you a shared family "can-do" attitude is.
• Take time to focus on family.  It doesn't take extra money to have a family meal or take a walk together. Or you could do the fall yard clean up as a family team and then enjoy home-made pizza and a rental movie, for instance.

All these approaches help your children and you feel part of the same family team and that will help everyone cope.

Our country's ongoing financial crisis tends to keep every one on edge. Part of the tension comes from feeling that we can't exercise much control over what's happening and what that means personally for jobs and retirement savings and the like. At such times, the creative activities in your life can become important ways to assert yourself and to enjoy "making" something positive. If you don't have such an outlet, now might be time to explore one of these:

• Gardening or landscaping. These activities are my great joy. I love getting out in nature, particularly working in landscaping Working with nature to make something even more beautiful makes me feel good. And for me it's even fun to learn the scientific names of all the plants, trees, and shrubs. Others I know enjoy vegetable gardening and eating fresh food they've cultivated.
• Enjoying music. Playing an instrument or singing can be great creative outlets. From community choral groups and choirs to barbershop, opportunities to sing are plentiful and cost little, if anything. The same goes for instrumental groups.  If you don't perform, all these groups love an audience.
• Theater. Participating in community theater productions offers fellowship and a chance to perform--either onstage or behind the scenes as crew.
• Crafting. From needlecrafts to woodworking to scrapbooking, there are hundres of craft activities that anyone can enjoy. Local craft groups, such as quilting or knitting clubs, also provide time to get together with other like-minded people.

So many times I've heard people say, I don't have a creative bone in my body.  I don't think that's true.  Explore your creative spark.