Dr. Rippe's Blog

Good health contributes to our sense of wellbeing in myriad ways. Anyone who doubts that has only to experience even a minor illness or injury to realize how much health matters. For that reason, as a physician, I've long partnered with patients to help them work toward achieving those daily practices that foster balance and health and also to adopt a pattern of check-ups or screenings to catch any potential health problems as soon as possible.

Having a good relationship between patient and physician (or other health care provider) is the cornerstone of effective medicine. But the economic model and insurance constraints operative in American medicine have taken a toll on doctor-patient relationships. Nonetheless, you can establish and nutrutre an ongoing relationship with a physician who is interested in treating you as a whole person rather than a number. If you don't have such a physician, it may take a little work to find one, but such individual health care professionals are available in every community.

Meanwhile, there are steps you can take to foster a partnership relationship with your physician and other health care providers.

• Come to the doctor's office ready to outline your health considerations, concerns, and goals. If you have more than one physician or health care provider, bring a short summary of your health history and your current perscriptions (bottles or a list with name, dosages, etc).
• Communicate clearly what you hope to achieve in the relationship or at that visit. I'm amazed that people are willing to provide instructions for other professionals in their lives (lawyers, for instance), but are shy about expressing their expectations and concerns with their physicians. Most physicians welcome knowing more about you. If you come with a particular complaint or concern, try to be article and precise about that. If the doctor seems to be rushing over your concerns, speak up and say, please wait a minute, I've not finished explaining what I need.
• Change physicians if you need to. If you feel that your physician is not willing or able to partner with you, I have a firm word of advice: get a new physician. Recommendations from friends, family, co-workers or others in health care may help you find such a doctor.

Life brings many occasions and conditions when the support of others can help us deal effectively and positively with the effects of those events and circumstances. Just a few of the circumstances may include dealing with a diagnosis of a life-changing illness or health condition, taking care of a child, spouse or parent with a serious illness, grieving over the loss of a loved one, losing one's job or have to make a radical job change. In these circumstances and more, having the support of others who are facing similar challenges or have gone through them can be invaluable in helping you cope.

Face-to-face support groups for many situations can be found in many communities. And those can be a first option. But perhaps there's not a group that fits your need or perhaps caregiving or work responsibilities don't allow you time to make face-to-face meetings.  In this case, you may find that one of many online support groups fits your needs. In a recent AARP publication, a mother talked how important  an online support group of other parents had been as they all coped with caring for adult children who were fighting life-threatening and terminal illnesses. Though these parents never met face-to-face or spoke on the phone, they were able to share their fears, their hopes, and grief, to get support and encouragement. They could post to the group at any time they had a moment or need to share--in the middle of the night said one mother--and know that there would be responses later the next morning.

Studies to date support the ability of well-run online support groups to provide members with a sense of empowerment and in many cases better knowledge of the situation. I'd recommend several criteria for chosing an online support group. 1) Visit the group first as an observer if possible and look at the quality of the exchanges. Are they respectful of different points of view and supportive in tone? 2) Does the group have access to expert opinions in the area? Some online support groups may be sponsored, for example, by professional organizations or health groups and have access to professionals in the field. 3) Who sponsors the group or the website? Be cautious about any group that wants too much personal info up front--identity thieves have been known to use such ploys. 4) If you find a group is not right for you, leave and search for another.

Today's national and global recession has created a general climate of anxiety. Many families are feeling financial stress in ways that range from threatened job security and being laid off to having difficulty making ends meet or meeting increased mortgage costs. Even if all is well in your household, children and youth tend to pick up on the general climate of anxiety and feel the stress. They are more apt to feel stress if the adults in their family are feeling financially or emotionally stressed. In these circumstances there are several ways that you can help your children deal with stress and anxiety.

• First, communicate. Talk to them about what's going on, both in the family and nationally. Talk about how they feel and what you can do to help them. If you're having to tighten the family budget, talk about why and what they can do to help.
• Assure them that, no matter what, you love them and will look after them. Let them know that external difficulties from having less money to job loss and beyond don't affect your love for them. You can let them know that even if you can't help feeling down on some days or even being snappish, that it's not about them. Even younger children have the capacity to understand and join the family support team if you include them, rather than exclude them
• Involve the children in solutions for family challenges.  For example, if you are having to cut back on spending and save more, involve the children in helping to do that. You might even have a family brainstorming session on strategies. For example, a child who has suggested eating fewer desserts or a less expensive cereal or making Friday night pizza at home rather than eating out is less likely to whine or protest when you act on those strategies.
• Be alert to signs of greater stress that children may be suppressing (often they aren't even aware they are feeling stress). Such signs may include complaining about stomachaches, anger flares, regular insomnia or trouble sleeping, declining school achievement, and nervousness. Of course, children not experiencing stress also experience these behaviors. If the behaviors are persistent and represent changes or regression in your child's typical behavior, then stress may be the cause.

The first and best safety net for your children is your love and support. Taking time to communicate with your children and to show love and support can make a big difference in their ability to cope and yours.