Dr. Rippe's Blog

"Little pitchers have big ears." Do you remember hearing this expression in childhood, particularly when you got too close to adult conversations? This folk wisdom actually has great validity when it comes to the well-being of your children or grandchildren.

Research studies show that the most important role models for healthful behaviors for children are their parents and other adults they care about. For example, the more meals that families eat together the more likely children are to continue healthful eating patterns as they become independent young adults. These healthful patterns include more adequate intake of recommended daily nutrients and not skipping meals.

The same holds true for activity. Children of physically active parents are also more likely to be physically active. Encouraging our children to be active helps them build strong, healthy bodies and helps prevent overweight. Lack of physical activity is a major contributing factor in the increase in childhood obesity in the U.S. Taking time to play actively with your children, to include them in your regular walking program when possible, and to support them in an organized sport that they enjoy helps them establish an active approach to life that will serve them well as they mature. Plus, this time spent together is just plain fun.

As a parent, I'm encouraged by remembering that one great benefit of working toward my goals for a balanced life is that I'm also modeling positive habits for my "little pitchers."

Watching the evening news reminds me that we live in a society filled with anger and hostility. Most of us, thankfully, will never experience the anger that erupts in such violence. Yet daily irritations, slights, vexations, or misunderstandings frequently provoke our anger. For instance, what about these common situations? Trying to drive in rush-hour traffic. Negotiating automated customer "service" menus. Grocery shopping with a toddler. Getting the kids to pick up their clothes. Badgering a co-worker to complete his or her part of the project on time.

You can add to my list, I'm sure. Such situations tend to trigger anger inside. Sometimes the anger may hid under sarcasm, impatience, or blaming, but it's there.  Too much anger isn't good for your inner peace, your relationships, or your health. Research indicates that 40% to 50% of Americans have enough anger to make their lives less satisfying and possibly to harm their health.

Properly channeled, anger can motivate us to change things that need to be changed. But often we either stuff anger or briefly erupt¿we blow our cool. Blowing one's cool, in whatever form it takes, isn't good for balance in life. It certainly isn't good for family and friends around us. But two simple strategies may help you channel anger productively or let it go.

• Ask yourself, "Can I change the situation¿is it in my control?" If the answer is no, I can't change what's making me angry (like other drivers in traffic), then you can only change your behavior. Practice letting go the frustration and tension. Doing this in minor situations will help you keep your cool at more important times.
• Give yourself a time out. What works for our children or grandchildren works for us adults, too. When you feel the inner steam rising, call a time out¿literally if you need to. Explain your need to cool down. State your intention to talk or work matters out later. Re-engage when you've had time to regroup, think through the issues, and plan a response to help resolve those issues.

Family life can be hectic. There always seem to be more than enough chores to go around. Then there are obligations or travel for work. Busyness too often seems to rule family life. With four young daughters and my travel schedule, my wife and I know that scenario all too well. Does that ring a bell for you? How can we bring family life into balance?

Interestingly, both research and anecdotal experience suggest that one of the best ways to enhance your family life may be to take more time for yourselves as a couple. The left-over ten minutes at the end of the day won't grow your relationship. Instead, couples must be intentional about taking time for each other. And the kind of time is important. Here are some tips.

• Plan a weekly date night. Doing something together each week that you both enjoy and without the children gives you time to focus on each other and share. If your budget won't stretch to a baby sitter that often, why not arrange a child-care swap with another couple. They keep your children on your date night, and you return the favor on theirs.
• Do something new. Behavioral and brain research suggests that exploring new activities that interest both partners refreshes romance and connection. This might be something as simple as trying a new restaurant, rather than going to an old favorite. Or you might take in a play or concert. Or how about taking a class together? Couples in a recent news story reported that taking dance classes together brought them a new closeness while providing enjoyable exercises and a new shared skill.
• Get away together. Taking a weekend (or week) away just for yourselves can be wonderfully refreshing. Make sure that you choose a locale or activity you both enjoy. Sometimes, you may even be able to take the family along. For example, our family loves to ski. We choose a ski venue that has plenty of organized activities for kids and adults. That way we have both "our" time and family time.