Marla the Blogger

I may have mentioned recently that we signed our son up for soccer this fall. We thought he'd enjoy it and it would be a nice introduction to organized sports for him. So far he seems to like it, although he usually spends more time pretending to be a train than actually participating in the games, but I still wonder whether we did the right thing by signing it up. I've seen several headlines touting how kids are "overscheduled" being shuttled from one activity to the next and how it can cause them stress. I don't want to do that to my son. But today I read an article that suggests that kids actually do well when they're involved in multiple activities.

Interestingly, kids involved in several activities fare quite well emotionally, while other kids involved in very few or no activities actually have problems with low self-esteem. As it turns out, children do fine when they have multiple interests, it's the parents who often suffer from having to cart their kids from one activity to the next. I know from my brief experience so far, it's sometimes a challenge to get my son where he needs to be two nights a week for soccer. I can't imagine how parents with more than one child or one child in several different activities manage it.

So, how can you help your child have fun and participate in activities without stressing you both out? Here are a few ideas:

• Consider not just what the activities are, but where and when they are. Try to pick activities that are closer to home and don't monopolize ALL of your family time.
• Work with your child to try to figure out what the really enjoy. Don't sign them up for activities just because it's something you enjoyed as a child or only because "everyone else" is participating.
• Coordinate with other parents to share rides and carpool when possible to give yourself (and them)a break.
• Make sure you have at least one or two nights a week without activities scheduled, so your kids can just hang out and play and you can take a break, too.

I'm sure as my son gets older, he'll want to participate in more activities, and I'll want him to as well. But I also know as a working mom, placing more demands on my schedule is difficult. I think, though, with some planning and balance, he can enjoy a few activities without stressing us all out.

My son is going to start playing soccer next week, so I was interested in an article I found on keeping kids safe when playing sports. Okay, so I'm sure what my son will be doing will hardly be considered a "sport" and more like a bunch of 3 and 4 year-olds running around after a ball, but there was still useful information in the article. A few items in particular stood out to me:

• Make sure they wear protective gear - does a 3 year-old really need soccer cleats instead of tennis shoes? Probably not. But he does need shin guards and I want him to get used to wearing special equipment when he plays sports, so we're getting him some gear.
• Find out the coach's view point -  when I signed my son up, I asked what expectations they had for what 3 and 4 year olds could do. Basically, they consider it a success if the kids can stay on the field while mom and dad sit on the sidelines, can run after the ball and have fun doing it. That seems to be the right attitude to me and appropriate based on the kids' young ages. I have a friend who pulled her 7 year-old out of pee-wee football because the coach was too competitive and put the kids in situations where they could be seriously hurt. It's important to make sure you agree with the coach's approach if you're going to entrust your child's safety to him or her.
• Don't let them play when injured - I doubt I have to worry about this too much now, but if my son continues to play sports as he gets older, this will become more important. I have countless stories of friends who were told to keep playing when they were injured in high school and college, even with serious injuries like stress fractures. And sometimes it starts earlier than that. My friend's 12 year-old daughter was told to "play through the pain" when her knee was seriously hurt in a softball game. Sometimes kids complain about minor aches and pains, but I think it's important to let them sit it out if they're hurt, or even if you can't tell if the injury is serious or not.

I wasn't encouraged to play sports when I was a kid, so I want to make sure my son has the opportunity to try some and see which ones he might like.  And I know as he gets older, we'll need to help make sure he's staying safe and having fun in any sport he participates in. If we keep him safe while he plays, I'm sure he'll have fun and hopefully continue to take part in sports. 

I went to the store the other day and couldn't believe they had their back-to-school items stocked already. Just like Christmas, it seems that they start marketing back-to-school earlier and earlier each year. My son isn't technically in school yet (although we always refer to his daycare as "school") and doesn't really need any supplies, but this time of year is a good time to go through your kids clothes, toys and other items. I put away or donate clothes and toys that he's outgrown and make a list of new things he needs.

This year, though, I'm also going to use the time to inspect his toys and make sure they're still safe. I know we tend to get a lot of hand-me-down items from friends and family, and my son can be rough on some of his things. I don't know how old some of them are or what condition they might be in now, so it's important to make sure his furniture and toys are safe and working properly to avoid injury.  Any items that are broken or not working as they should we'll throw away. Anything still in good, usable condition, but are items that he's outgrown or no longer needs, we'll donate.

One good resource to help when evaluating toys and furniture is the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission website (http://www.cpsc.gov/).  They have lists of product recalls and safety news, and if you have had a problem with an unsafe product, you can report it on their site. I've gone to their website before to check for any recalls on used items that we've been given. They also have a neighborhood safety section on the site with resources for child safety, fire safety and more.

Back-to-school is usually associated with buying new clothes and items for kids. Make sure this year as you're getting anything new (or used) that it's safe. And check everything you already have to make sure your kids will have a healthy and safe school year.