Marla the Blogger

I've been crazy busy for the past few months. Work has been busy and every weekend we've had something going on. My mom came to visit, then we were out of town for a wedding, then my dad came to visit. Really, I haven't had a moment to rest. Lately, it's been a real challenge to keep sane and continue to take care of myself. And, then, on top of all that, I had a terrific "stress test".

My husband and I were travelling with our son and my dad to go to a family reunion. It was going to be a long drive, but we were leaving a few days early to take our time and enjoy the trip. We weren't even 20 miles from home when my son threw up all over himself in the car. We pulled over on the side of the road and there we were, on the side of the highway during rush hour traffic, changing my son's clothes and trying to clean out the car. It was definitely stressful.

He seemed to be okay once that happened, so we got back into the car and continued, but we didn't get very far before we had to pull over at a rest area. My son had to go to the bathroom. This happened again and again every 5 or 10 minutes. Sometimes he really had to go to the bathroom, sometimes he didn't. But every time he got upset and insisted we stop. It didn't take very long at all for us to figure out his stomach was just queasy still and couldn't differentiate between that and feeling like he had to go to the bathroom.

Instead of suffering on or stressing out, I just calmly turned the car around and drove back home. It wasn't worth trying to get some distance on the road if our son was miserable and it was going to be a terrible trip for all of us. So, we went home, ordered pizza and put on our pajamas. We had a relaxing evening at home, my son had a good night's sleep, and the next day we got up early and started our trip over again. We had to cover a lot more miles in one day then we had planned, but it was a much more relaxed trip for all of us. I'm glad I didn't let the situation get the best of me and made the right decision for all of us. I think all the work I've been doing to maintain my well-being has helped me stay calm and relaxed, even when facing a stressful situation.

I read an article recently on how you can actually train yourself to be more mindful as a stress management technique. Some of the techniques are things that I have tried (like trying to focus on the "here and now") and have helped me deal with stress, but I never considered a formal training program.

The article explains how West Virginia University conducted a study with university employees to see how they handled stress and whether mindfulness training made a positive difference or not. The techniques they taught the treatment group included things like yoga, meditation, breathing exercises, etc. They found that those who had been taught the techniques fared better both mentally and physically than those who were in the control group. Not only were they better able to handle stressful situations, they actually had lower blood pressure and experienced fewer aches and pains!

Years ago when we lived in Denver, I took yoga classes during my lunch break at work three days a week. The gym was only a few minutes away from work and my employer actually encouraged us to participate; we even got a discounted membership through the company. After reading this article, I realized how much I missed doing yoga on a regular basis. I remember how relaxed and refreshed I felt afterwards and I didn't dread going back to work. I can't take a break like that in the middle of my work day now (no way my current employer would allow it) but I'm going to look into some options for early morning or evening classes. I know I felt better when participating in "mindfulness training" and it looks like there's some evidence that shows it can really make a positive difference!

If you haven't noticed from some of my other recent posts, my job has gotten very stressful lately. I'm afraid that this week hasn't been any different. I'm continuing to find ways to manage my stress level, though, because I'm determined to get through this with my sanity intact. I've worked too long and hard on trying to maintain a positive outlook and overall well-being to let one job ruin it. Rather than spend any more time or energy dwelling on the negative, I'm going to share some of my "little treasures" with you. These are happy memories I replay in my mind when I'm having a bad day and need a little encouragement.

 - Recently, my son and I were sitting on the couch before his bedtime. I had just put in a DVD for him to watch one of his favorite short programs before we went upstairs to brush his teeth and read a book. As the show started, he turned to me and asked, "Do you want to snuggle with me, mommy?  Let's snuggle!"  We laid down on the couch together and I put my arms around him and he sighed contentedly.

- One of my pet peeves is when men leave the toilet seat up. My husband knows this and has been great about remembering to put it back down when he's finished. Once, after we had been together for several years, he forgot and left it up. I walked out of the bathroom and joked, "don't you love me anymore?" Later that same night, when we were going to bed, he was trying not to laugh and I knew he was up to something. I crawled into bed next to him and he put his feet up against mine. He was wearing socks. I started laughing hysterically and said, "wearing socks to bed is one of your pet peeves, not mine!" I used to always wear socks to bed before and it drove him nuts. We had been together so long at that point he couldn't remember which one of us didn't like wearing socks to bed.

- My grandfather passed away two years before my son was born. One of my fondest memories of him is how he would walk around the house, singing opera. I've never had the same appreciation for opera, but whenever I hear it, I think of him. My son loves hearing opera. We turned on the television once when he was about 18 months old and there happened to be an opera performance on and he was hooked. I like to think that he inherited his interest in opera from my grandfather, even though he never met him.

- My birthday is two weeks before Christmas and often gets overlooked. My mom had to work the evening shift on my 18th birthday, but when I got home from school that day, she had left 18 lavender roses on the table for me and a card with money for me to go to the movies with one of my friends. And a really sweet note telling me how much she loved me. It was one of my most memorable birthdays even though I didn't get to spend it with my family.

Of course I have more, but those are just a few that I've been pondering this week when things were tough and I was feeling overworked and under appreciated. What are your happy memories that help get you through rough days?