Marla the Blogger

I know it's kind of cliche, but I always think about what I'm most thankful for at Thanksgiving. Sure, it's a great holiday for relaxing and eating good food, but I think it's also a great time to remember what's good in my life. This past year has been busy and brought a lot of changes, but what is always the most consistent thing in my life and what I'm most thankful for is my friends and family.

To me, family and friends is really "the point" of it all. You can spend your life trying to amass a lot of money or have a really successful career or do something important to make a name for yourself, but if you don't have friends or family to share it with, I don't think it means as much. Of course other people will admire you or like you if you are successful; what's really important are the people who love you even when your life is ordinary or even difficult.

I know I'm really lucky to have a great family because not everyone does. Even if you don't, though, you can make your own family by building a strong network of friends. We have good friends who for years used to host an "orphan's Thanksgiving" at their house every year. It started when we were in graduate school and anyone who didn't have somewhere else to go for Thanksgiving could come to their house for a wonderful meal. We spent several Thanksgivings with them when we couldn't travel to see our family and they were some of the most enjoyable holidays memories I have. And this year, as I'm spending time with my family, I'm also giving thanks for my extended "family" - the friends I've kept over the years and who continue to be an important part of my life.

We're leaving tomorrow morning to move back to Ohio. Although we've only lived in the Boston area for about a year and a half, I'm really going to miss it and the friends we've made here. Some people have said it's too bad we moved in the first place, only to move back again so soon. And others have mentioned it's unfortunate that we sold our house there and will be renting instead when we move back. But honestly, I don't have any regrets. Yes, we will miss our friends here and moving twice in such a short period of time isn't exactly fun, but I don't regret the decisions we made. We made the best choices we could at the time, both in the decision to move here initially and the decision to move back now, and even if things didn't turn out as we originally planned, we still have a lot to be happy about.

It's easy to look at the past and second guess yourself. I think it's important to look at the past so if you did make any mistakes, you can learn from them, but not dwell on it and make yourself miserable. I try to live my life with no regrets; even when I realize later I made an error, I try to focus on moving on and what I can do in the future. I do sometimes wish I would have done some things differently, but I try to acknowledge it, learn from it and move on. Like lots of things in life, your attitude can be the most important part. For example, even though we're going to miss our friends and there are a lot of reasons we could be sad about moving, we're focusing on the positive aspects. We've been doing this with our son to help him with the transition; we talk about his new house and his new school, about him getting to see his grandparents more often and visit other friends and family more often.

So, regardless of what happens with this next move, I'm going to remember our time here fondly and be happy for the things we did and friends we made. The next chapter in our lives is starting, but I'm glad for the time we spent here and I have no regrets.

I think I've probably mentioned this before, but I'm not a fan of moving. And yet, I've done it several times and here I am again, packing for another move. The one positive aspect of moving, though, is that it forces me to sort through my belongings and get rid of things I no longer need. A friend of mine who has been in her house for over 10 years joked that she needs to move just to make herself clean out her closets. Here are a few tips that I find useful if you are planning on moving, and a few that might help you get organized, even if you aren't.

• The one year rule - you may have heard someone say, "if you haven't used something in the past year, you should get rid of it." I don't think that's necessarily an across-the-board rule. I think it is a good suggestion for clothes; if you haven't warn it in the past year, you probably can get rid of it. But it doesn't apply to anything. I haven't used my grandmother's crystal in the last five years, but I'm not going to get rid of it. It's valuable and has sentimental value and someday when I have a china cabinet I'll use it. The trick is having a place for something you want to keep that you don't use often. I have the crystal safely packed in a plastic storage box that can be easily stored in a basement, closet or attic.
• Keep, donate/sell, throw away - when you're packing/organizing, separate items into piles based on what you're going to keep, what you don't need but is still usable, and what is trash.  A yard sale is a great way to make money on items you don't use anymore, but if you don't have enough items to sell or if you just don't have the time to deal with it, donate them to a worthy charity or give them away through Freecycle.  After you have your keep pile, go through it AGAIN and see if there are still some items that you can give away. One question I often ask myself when trying to decide whether to keep something is "where will I put it?".  If I can't answer that question, odds are it's something I should consider giving away.
• Pack in stages - packing can be so overwhelming, I try to start a month before we actually have to move. There are always things you don't "use" day to day that you can live without for several weeks. Pictures, decorations, books, knickknacks, etc. can all be boxed up well in advance of moving. It makes your house seem a little strange and empty, but it's better to space the packing out than trying to do it all within a few days.

Moving is a lot of work, but I try to use it as an opportunity to get organized. When I start packing I'm always amazed at how much "stuff" we have, and it feels good to organize everything and give away what we really don't need to someone else who could use it. So, even if you aren't moving anytime soon, maybe spend an evening tackling that closet you've been putting off or sorting through those boxes in your basement. It will take a little time, but in the end once you have it organized, you'll feel good.  I know I will when the last box is finally unpacked in our new place!