Marla the Blogger

I've always known that focusing on my well-being and trying to stay positive makes me a happier person, but now there's another reason to try to stay up-beat. A recent study found that feeling hopeless can increase the risk of having a stroke for women. Even when they adjusted the findings for other stroke risk factors, there was a significant difference in the thickness of neck arteries for women who scored higher for feelings of hopelessness in comparison to women who didn't feel hopeless. (Thick neck arteries is a sign of higher risk for strokes and heart attacks).

I've long believed that mental attitude has an impact on physical health, but I didn't realize such a specific mindset could be a indicator of high risk for a particular disease. It's also interesting to consider what to do with these findings. It's much more tangible to say, "I'm going to lose weight so I don't get diabetes" or "I'm going to stop smoking so I don't get lung cancer" instead of "I'm going to stop feeling hopeless so I don't have a stroke." However, just like losing weight and quitting smoking, there are specific things you can do if you want to improve your mental health.

Following the Start Making Choices program is a good place to start. Working each week on your mental "fitness" can help you improve your overall mood and deal more effectively with stress; it certainly has for me. If you're having strong feelings of hopelessness that you can't manage on your own, though, consider getting some professional assistance. Remember, improving your mood may have even more benefits: it may even reduce your risk of developing a life-threatening disease.

There's a woman at my work who couldn't be more different than I am. For every political, social and religious viewpoint and opinion I have, she pretty much believes the opposite. We are both aware of our radically different beliefs, and yet we are very close friends. On paper, it looks like we wouldn't get along at all, but in reality, we get along great. So how is it two very different people can be friends?

Well, for one we have other things in common. We're both working moms, we're both practical and value common sense and have very little patience for foolishness. And we're both content to let each other have her own opinion, without trying to change the other's mind. We don't avoid talking about topics that we disagree on, but we also don't dwell on them when they do come up. We each stick to our viewpoints without being confrontational and we don't spend a lot of time re-hashing the same arguments. We discuss and move on to other topics.

I reminded myself about my work friend and our ability to look past our differences the other night while watching television. There was news coverage about the current healthcare debate and an opinion expressed by one side of the argument got me particularly riled up. I was ranting and raving to the television (and my husband) about how I couldn't believe someone would be stupid enough to have a particular viewpoint. And then I remembered my friend at work. And I realized she probably would agree with the person on the news I disagreed with. I considered how my work friend is definitely not stupid or uninformed, but how her view of the world sometimes differs significantly from my own. However, in the end we're not so different. We just want to be good people and live happy, healthy lives with our friends and family.

We're never going to agree with everyone we come in contact with. But I'm going to try to always remember the benefit of looking past an opinion that doesn't reflect your own. You never know when you'll meet a friend that isn't as different from you as you think. 

My husband and I have been talking about taking a trip back to Colorado since we moved away over five years ago. We haven't seen some of our friends there since we left and most of them have never met our son. Every time we talked about it, though, it seemed like it wasn't the right time. Either we didn't have the money to take the trip or one or both of us didn't have enough vacation or there was just too much going on. Finally, we realized if we waited for the "perfect" time to take the trip, we'd probably never go.

So we looked at the calendar and picked a week and booked our plane tickets. There were a few things we had to give up to be able to take the trip, both financially and socially. We missed my husband's cousin's wedding in Chicago and had to eat some peanut butter and jelly sandwiches on our trip to keep costs down, but we're really glad we went. We didn't want to look back years later and realize we never took the trip because it was never the right time to go.

Obviously, there are some times that are better than others to make plans or make a change in your life. It's probably not a good idea to buy a new car the day after you get laid off from a job. But I have friends who have put off moving or making job changes or having kids until the "right" time and have found out later that there really is never the perfect time. Sometimes you just have to take a leap of faith that you're making the right decision even if everything isn't lined up exactly like you want it. I'm glad we went ahead and took our trip now instead of waiting for the "perfect" time to go. So, what are you waiting for?