Marla the Blogger

Two things happened recently that made me reflect on the concept of time. Randy Pausch, the Carnegie Mellon professor, who gave a "last lecture" after he had learned he had terminal cancer, passed away.  And Dave Freeman, the co-author of "100 Things to Do Before You Die" passed away.  Both men were 47 years old, just five years older than my husband. I'm in the middle of reading the book about Randy Puasch's last lecture and his life and I can't help thinking about my own life. Most days, I'm caught up in how much I have to do and how little time I have to get things done. But what I don't always think about is exactly what I'm spending my time on and, in the big picture, how short our lifetime really is.

Obviously, anyone who dies at a young age like 47 is not done living life.  What strikes me, though, when reading about both of these men, is how satisfied they were with the life they had. With Randy Pausch, he knew his time was coming to an end quickly, but he wasn't bitter or despondent but instead happy about how much he had accomplished and what a wonderful life he had. Dave Freeman apparently died suddenly, but his family and friends estimate that he did about half of the things on his list of 100 and thoroughly enjoyed his life. I can't help but think, if I died tomorrow, would I be satisfied with my life so far? Have I done enough things on my "list" to feel accomplished?  

We can't all live life like our time may come to an end tomorrow. If we did, a lot of us would probably quit our jobs and spend time only doing what we wanted, which wouldn't work out in the long run. In reality, most of us are probably going to live to an old age and still need to work and do the more mundane day-to-day things. The point is, though, that it shouldn't be ALL that you're doing. And even though you might not be able to just quit your job and move to the beach or something, it's important to not spend years of your life in a job that makes you miserable or doesn't allow you to have any life outside of work. Your life should be filled with joy and purpose so if you found out tomorrow was your last day on earth, you'd at least be satisfied with the life you've led to this point.

I'd say for the most part I'm satisfied with my life up to this point. I think there are some areas, though, where I need to focus more on the joy and purpose and less on the mundane. After reading about both of these men and their too-short lives, I'm going to try to appreciate how little time we truly have and make sure I'm spending mine on the right things.   

One of the suggestions to make time for yourself in the Start Making Choices well-being planner is to read. I've always loved reading; even when I was young I would stay up late reading until my mom would catch me and make me go to bed. As an adult, I usually read at least 2 or 3 books a month. But, since my son was born, I have a lot less time for reading. Most months I'm lucky if I can get through even one book.

One thing that has always helped me make sure I set aside some time for reading is being part of a book club.  The group I'm currently in is the third book club I've participated in; I've always enjoyed being in one because it introduces me to new books and motivates me to find time to read. Each of the groups I've been in have had different pluses and minuses. They've varied in terms of how much focus was on the book discussions versus socializing, and how much I knew the other members when I joined. If you're looking for a way to motivate yourself to read more and don't have access to a book club, there are some other fun things you can do:  

• Have a "book swap" with a friend - find a friend (or a few) who would like to get together to trade books you've already read and enjoyed with them. When you get together again to return books and swap new ones, you can chat about the ones you read and liked.
• Read before you see the movie - lots of movies that have come out in the last few years have been based on books. I have a friend who won't see a movie based on a book until she reads the book first. If you see one that interests you, set a goal to try to read the book before the movie is released on DVD. When you've finished the book, you can rent the movie and see which one you liked more.
• Start your own book club - all three of the groups I've been in were informally started by people who worked together, friends and friends of friends, or from another already-existing group. It doesn't have to be complicated or formal, just find some other friends who want to read, have them invite others, and go from there.

Reading can be very enjoyable; it's a relaxing activity that also helps develop your imagination. I'm glad that as busy as I am, I still find time to participate in a book club and read some great books.

Like a lot of other people, I've been watching the Summer Olympics and enjoying all of the excitement of the competitions. Watching the athletes can provide more than just entertainment, though. Lots of people have been inspired by Dara Torres, who at 41, is the oldest woman ever on a U.S. Olympic swim team. When people look at her and say, "if Dara can do it, I can do it" I know they're not thinking that they're going to make the Olympic team any time soon. But if she can be a competitive swimmer and hold her own against athletes half her age, then certainly being able to get into better physical and emotional shape is attainable at any age. The key is believing in yourself and putting in the time and effort.  

I was inspired by Dara and by Oksana Chusovitina, the 33 year-old woman competing on Germany's gymnastics team. I'm sure both these women faced people who doubted their ability to compete. I bet there were times when they were tired and the stress of taking care of their families while training made them wonder if they could do it, too. In Okasana's case, she was also dealing with her son who had leukemia, which made her training that much harder, but that much more necessary. She moved to Germany so he could get the care he needed. But despite the obstacles they faced, both women stuck with it and have succeeded, even if neither of them win another medal.

I wrote in an earlier post that I have to be careful when comparing myself to others. It's easy to look at someone who is better than you in some respect and feel like you're coming up short. But there's a flip side to that, too. You can look to what other people have achieved as inspiration to try to reach your own goals. Am I ever going to become a world-class athlete? No, but if these women can achieve what they have, seemingly against the odds, then I can achieve my goals, too. What about you? Where do you find your inspiration?