Marla the Blogger

We probably all know that moderation is very useful for maintaining a balanced lifestyle. There are some things that aren't necessarily bad for us as long as we enjoy them in moderation; it's just when we have too much of something when we get in trouble. As an article about caffeine this week concluded, having a cup of coffee every day isn't terrible for you, but too much caffeine can have some negative effects on your health. I think anyone who's had a pot of coffee in the afternoon and then suffered from insomnia at night could attest to that. So, if we all know moderation is the key, why do we have such a hard time following that advice?

For example, let's just suppose I went to a conference this week. And let's say maybe I had a little too much to drink one evening. Now, before you picture me running around with a lampshade on my head or something, let me say that I didn't go crazy. But, most expert advice suggests that women should limit their alcohol intake to one drink per day, and for me, personally, I know that if I have more than about two drinks or so, I'm tired and cranky the next day. And I was definitely tired and cranky the next day.

So, if I know I should practice moderation when it comes to drinking, how come I didn't? Well, clearly I didn't make some wise choices. Reflecting back on the evening, I can now see a few things I should have done differently in that particular situation. These might be able to help any time you're trying to practice moderation:

• Plan ahead - I should have considered my schedule for the evening (two different networking receptions and dinner with colleagues) and the fact that alcohol would be offered at all three events and decided on a strategy in advance for how to limit my intake.     
• Turn to healthy substitutes - it's hard standing around talking at a cocktail party without a cocktail in your hand. But you can choose nonalcoholic alternatives. Club soda with a lemon or some tonic water with lime juice are good substitutes.  And even if you're not particularly thirsty, holding a glass with something in it is a sure-fire way to keep people from continuously offering you a drink.
• Enlist help from others -  if you're trying to watch how much you're drinking or anything else that is frequently part of social situations, let others know. People will probably be less likely to offer you a temptation if they know you're trying to avoid it and if nothing else, the fact that you stated out loud your intention might help you stick to your resolve.

I know it's hard sometimes to practice moderation, whether it's with alcohol, coffee, dessert or anything else that should be enjoyed only in small amounts. And for some people, the only way to truly make sure they don't overindulge may be to not have any at all. But for me, I know if I make smart choices, I can have a cup of coffee or a glass of wine with dinner and not regret it later. I just have to remember: moderation is the key.     

I was checking my weekly well-being planner on the Start Making Choices site this week and noticed that one of the suggestions for this week was to "give support to get support." It reminded me of something I was just thinking about last weekend: how we all need people who are "cheerleaders" for us.

I was at the park with my husband and our son was having a wonderful time literally running in circles. He would make a big loop around the swings, and then run past the benches where my husband and I were sitting. In fact, our son insisted that we sit there and watch him run AND clap for him while he was running. Every so often he'd look back and if one of us wasn't clapping and cheering for him, he'd command, "clap, Mommy!" or "clap, Dada!" I figured out right away where he came up with this game. He was remembering how I take him to races to see my husband run and we stand on the sidewalk, clapping and cheering for his dad and the other runners. Just like he pretends to vacuum the floor and mow the lawn, he was pretending to run a race like his dad.

Now, I know of course that his asking us to sit and cheer for him was just part of his role-playing. But something about him telling us so directly to cheer for him made me think. Really, don't we all need someone who is cheering for us? When we're trying to get through a tough time in our lives, or even just the day-to-day that can sometimes exhaust us, having friends and family who are "rooting for us" makes a big difference. So I'm going to try to make sure the people in my life know that I'm cheering them on, in whatever situations they are facing. And I'm also going to remember next time I'm having a tough time and could use some encouragement, that there's nothing wrong with actually asking someone to "clap for me!"

Most of the time I feel like every moment of my day is spent doing something or moving from one task to the next. I'm sure you know what I'm talking about. Get up. Eat breakfast. Get dressed. Get son dressed. Drop off at daycare. Go to work. Work. Pick up at daycare. Go home. Make dinner. Put son to bed. Do dishes. Pack lunches. Get ready for bed. Go to bed. Get up. Do it all over again. And of course you have to squeeze in all kinds of other tasks like paying bills, doing laundry, etc. in there as well. I also tend to think ahead to the next task even if I'm not "doing" anything at the moment. So while I'm driving home with my son I'm thinking about what to make for dinner or what I need to pick up at the store or what I have to remember to take with me to work tomorrow. 

Several years ago my sister gave me a book called "The Art of Doing Nothing." Okay, I have to admit that I've never really read it. It still sits on my bookshelf, though, and every time I see it, the title jumps out at me. I imagine that actually doing "nothing" could be very relaxing, but I don't doubt it's an "art" if for no other reason, it's hard to do. Maybe doing "nothing" is not what I need to aspire to, but just doing one thing at a time and not letting my mind race ahead to the next task I have to accomplish.   

The other day my husband observed that our son is perfectly happy simply doing nothing. He's completely content to walk up the stairs, back down the stairs and up the stairs again. And again. And again. But really, he's not doing "nothing". He's either practicing stair climbing, or maybe pretending to scale a mountain. The beauty of what he's doing, though, is that he's totally in the moment. While he's climbing up and down the stairs, he's not wondering where his toy fire truck is or thinking about what he wants for dinner, he's just enjoying the stairs. Of course, sometimes there's a downside to his inability to think ahead (like how one minute he's playing happily and the next minute crying because he just realized he's hungry and wants dinner NOW) but I think there's definitely a benefit to be able to "live in the moment" more.

When you have a busy life, multi-tasking is a necessity. But that doesn't mean you have to multi-task ALL the time. And if you do spend a lot of your day multi-tasking, it's probably even more important to slow down and concentrate at one thing at a time when you can. So the next time I find my mind racing ahead to the next task while I'm doing something, I'll try to stop and stay in the moment. Maybe I'll even find some time to sit down and finally read that book my sister gave me.