Marla the Blogger

It has been HOT this summer. I'm sure it doesn't help that I'm pregnant and already carrying extra weight around. When it's hot outside, I'm tempted to stay at home in the air conditioning, but that gets boring fast. And I don't want to waste my summer, so what do you do when it's crazy hot outside? Well, we've been trying a few different things to beat the heat and still enjoy our summer:

• Get out early - for some outdoor activities (like going to the zoo) we get going early and get there first thing in the morning when they open. So by the time the heat of the day really starts up, we're ready to go home and have some lunch inside in the cool.
• Splash around - we've gotten the sprinkler out a few times and ALL of us play in it (not just our son).  Also, we've been checking out all the playgrounds in town that have water features or wet playgrounds. Some of them are free and others are very reasonable ($2 per child).
•  Check out indoor options - as much as I love being outside, some days it's just too hot and sticky. But that doesn't mean we have to be stuck in the house. We've been to a few museums and have spent a couple of afternoons reading and browsing through books in the library together.

It's been awhile since I've written anything. The primary reason is that I've had to let a lot of things in my life slide recently. We're expecting our second child in early November and while we're thrilled about it, my being pregnant has caused me to have to shift some of my priorities. It used to be that I would get a lot of things done on the weekend when my son was napping, or in the evenings after he went to bed. Now, I have to take a nap when he's napping, and my bed time isn't that much later than his is. I need a lot more rest now that I'm pregnant, so some other things (like writing and housecleaning to name a few) have taken a back seat.

However, just because I haven't been writing here lately doesn't mean I've stopped following the Start Making Choices program. In fact, it's been really helpful since I've gotten pregnant in guiding me how to:

• Eat Well - my appetite has increased a LOT and it's been great to have tips and recipes on how to eat right (and has helped me avoid too many treats and temptations).
  
• Be Active - I was really active when pregnant with my first son and wanted to make sure I kept it up again this time, both for me and my baby.
  
• Feel Good - things have been more stressful in our lives this time than they were last time I was pregnant. In addition to running around after our young son, we've had uncertainty with my husband's job and a less-than-ideal place to live. Without the well-being techniques I've learned from Start Making Choices, it would have been harder to manage that stress.

One of the flaws I recognize about myself is that I am very opinionated, and I tend to share my opinion with others, even when not asked. Close friends and family realize this and accept me as I am, of course, but sometimes I regret being so pushy about my point of view with acquaintances. For example, a woman I work with was telling me about some problems she was having in her personal life and how she was feeling really down. I probably should have just listened sympathetically, but instead, I gave her advice without her asking. I know she's been wanting to put her house on the market for some time now and put her past with her ex-husband behind her, but she has several things to do to get it ready to sell. So I more or less told her that she would feel better if she got out from under that big mortgage and got on with her life. I even sent her some links with information about disposing of and recycling some of the stuff in her house she wanted to get rid of.

She was very polite about my unsolicited advice (as most people are) but later I felt bad about being so bossy. She hadn't asked me for advice or my opinion. She was probably just looking for a sympathetic ear and instead I gave her a laundry list of things *I* thought she should do. I wanted to apologize to her, but we were both really busy at work and I didn't get a chance to talk with her again before the weekend.

She stopped by my office a few days later and told me how much better she was feeling. She had spent a good part of her weekend sorting through stuff in her house and donated/disposed of a lot of stuff she didn't need anymore. She told me how much she appreciated my advice and now that she had made some progress, she felt really good about getting the house ready to sell and felt good about herself.

I was glad to hear something positive came from me being so pushy. That's not to say that I don't think I still need to be careful giving out my opinion so forcefully when not asked for it, but I did feel a little better. I really do want to help people, which is why I'm so passionate about giving advice, even when not asked. I'm just being myself, flaws and all. With a little restraint, I think I can still be myself without totally alienating those around me.